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The Mental Trick Michael Stipe Passed On to Thom Yorke: Stop Caring, and So Will They

Speaking with Harry Styles, Thom Yorke recounted a 1995 tour memory in which R.E.M.'s Michael Stipe pulled him out of his backstage dressing room to share a mindset for handling the pressures of fame.

The Mental Trick Michael Stipe Passed On to Thom Yorke: Stop Caring, and So Will They

In 1995, Radiohead opened for R.E.M. on the "Monster Tour," and back then Thom Yorke had a habit of locking himself in his backstage dressing room, refusing to go anywhere. It was Michael Stipe who noticed.

Yorke brought up the memory in his latest conversation with Harry Styles for Rolling Stone. The two talked about dealing with the loss of privacy that comes with fame—Styles recalled feeling trapped in hotel rooms in his early years, while Yorke said that stepping outside and simply observing passersby could actually pull a person out of self-isolation. That's exactly what Stipe did for him back then.

"I remember when we were touring with R.E.M., Michael Stipe noticed I would just hide in the dressing room and never go anywhere," Yorke said. "So he started physically dragging me out, and he taught me a trick."

The trick was simple: "He said, 'If you don't care, they won't care. If you don't look, they won't look at you.' And it actually worked."

Yorke recalled that Stipe put the theory to the test almost immediately. "I remember in Stockholm, we were about to go to this busy club, and he said, 'Just try it,'" he continued. "And it actually worked—nobody bothered us."

He added that being recognized still feels vulnerable in itself, but locking yourself away forever is worse: "It's not an easy decision to make, but it's better than the alternative."

The friendship has since lasted more than three decades. In a 2019 interview with NME, Stipe said the two "built a friendship through touring together and respect for each other's work," calling Yorke "a peer of mine" and one of the few people in music he regularly turns to for advice, alongside R.E.M. bandmates Mike and Peter: "He was the first person who would text me like, 'I'm thinking of doing this, what would you suggest.'"

Stipe downplayed the idea that he played a "mentor" role, but admitted his experience with fame did help the younger Yorke: "The word 'mentored' is probably used because I'm older and had been through more, but we talked a lot about that stuff, and I know it helped him."

Yorke also mentioned back in 2019 that when Radiohead's success became overwhelming and people on the street started treating him like "Jesus," it was Stipe who helped him through it. During the relentless touring period after OK Computer, Yorke called Stipe for help, and Stipe suggested he imagine detaching himself from the moment, telling himself: "I'm not here, this isn't happening." That phrase later became the core lyric of "How To Disappear Completely" on Radiohead's 2000 album Kid A—Stipe confirmed the story to NME, answering with a single word, "Yeah," when asked if the line came from his advice.

The two have crossed paths onstage many times as well. Yorke has repeatedly performed "E-Bow The Letter" with R.E.M., taking over the part originally sung by Patti Smith, including at the 1998 Tibetan Freedom Concert and a secret 2004 church show in London, the recording of which was officially released in 2018. During two R.E.M. shows in Vancouver in 2003, Yorke joined the band onstage to sing "E-Bow The Letter" and "It's The End Of The World As We Know It," and the following night, Stipe returned the favor by joining Radiohead for "Karma Police." When R.E.M. disbanded in 2011, Stipe personally texted Yorke to let him know first.

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